How he treats others.....

“Life's tragedy is that we get old

 too soon and wise too late” 

Benjamin Franklin

Hello my sweet niece,

I thought I should share something that happened the other day at work. This couple was flying out on us but running very late. The guy managed to make it on the plane but his friend was nowhere in sight at departure time. So, he asked my coworker to hold the plane door open until she got there. He called her and found out she hadn’t even made it through security. It was departure time. My coworker told him it was impossible to wait for her as it would cause a massive delay. He begged. She apologized, and stood her ground. There were 130 plus on time passengers waiting to leave and to wait for one late one makes no sense. We'd never leave if we did this every time the plane stopped at a city. Anyway, the guy gets off the aircraft and tells my coworker, “Am done talking to you bitch!”

Imagine this insult, for something that was the guy’s fault? Such are the hazards of the job though, honey.

Much later after the plane had left, his lady friend showed up looking unhurried, calm and collected. She had her man in tow. She inquired about the next flight. I told her before I could help her I just had to let her friend know (the guy) that name calling was completely unacceptable. My coworker was standing next to me. He denied the insult and said my coworker was making it up and turning the tables on him. He was acting like a pure jerk!

“If a man fools you once, he's a jerk.

 If he fools you twice, you're a jerk.”

I re-booked them and sent them on their way. An hour later, the lady came over to apologize for her man. We had a long discussion about men who call women names and the women that date them. I told her I was disappointed in him but even more so in her for tolerating such behavior. She told me she would not put up with his nastiness and she was going to make him apologize for his insult.  She also expressed this fear, “Does that mean he will call me a bitch when he’s mad at me?”

Anyhoo, toots, I tell you this tale to illustrate something. She was absolutely right in having that fearful sentiment. If a man does not respect any of the women he comes into contact with then there’s a grand possibility that he does not respect you either. In a heated moment, he will reveal his true colors just like the guy above did.

Sweetie, be aware that if you are dating someone, observe how he treats others and his relatives. It’s the same way he will treat you once y’all get used to each other. Choose a partner wisely.There are still some good guys out there.  Most importantly, BE NICE TO EVERYONE. You never know what kind of battle they are fighting. Oh, and there's also karma.Whatever you send out always comes back to you.

“If you send out goodness from yourself, or if you share that which is happy or good within you, it will all come back to you multiplied ten thousand times. In the kingdom of love there is no competition; there is no possessiveness or control. The more love you give away, the more love you will have.”
― John O'Donohue

My Wish

"My Wish" lyrics

RASCAL FLATTS LYRICS

 Send "My Wish" Ringtone to your Cell 

"My Wish"

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big

What I've Learnt

HI SWEETIE, HERE'S WHAT I'VE LEARNT SO FAR:

ego enhancing

v Not to sabotage my strength by engaging in activities that take away from my spirit. Daily I ask: Where am I deriving my sense of strength from? The worst habit I have to disengage in is ego enhancing. By the things I do e.g.: cutting people off in traffic, cursing out other drivers yet it's me that's late, gossiping in order to feel better about myself. Even labeling the weather as good or bad, labeling incidents and people as bad or wrong (which by default brands me as right,) airing unsolicited opinions, etc. 

    Ego correction is a double edged sword. It makes me forget to be humble, puffs out my chest, gives me counterfeit strength but ultimately weakens my spirit.
The danger in ego enhancing is that, in a sense I've deemed myself as a victim of some sort (someone hurt my little ego) and am now getting "rightful" justice. Tracy Mcmillan once said: You get to be a victim and be right (and righteous) but then you're stuck there.

v There is no Fail or Pass grade handed out at anyone’s Eulogy.

v I do not discount anyone I meet.

v There are no meaningless experiences.

v It’s me not paying attention, it’s not the experience. The experience is neither good nor bad, it’s neutral.

v I’ve learnt to open my third eye.

v God has an awesome sense of humor.

 v It’s entirely possible that it’s not them it’s me.

 v The lesson I hold dear above all else and that has saved me countless altercations: The truth in no event needs defense.~Eckhart Tolle

v The way you do anything is the way you'll do everything.

v I’ve learnt to watch my preverbal intention.

v Be humble. Death is the common right of toads and men. Why swagger then? ~Emily Dickinson.
v I've learnt to be willing to revisit my statements and eat humble pie if I have to retract my assertions and proclamations.

“Be humble for you are made of earth.
Be noble for you are made of stars”
― Serbian proverb

v I have learnt that I am not sure of anything. You can never be too sure. The same goes for guaranteeing anything.

v I have learnt to give up self direction and invite God into my life to show me how to live.

v I have learnt to claim progress and not perfection.

I L OVE YOU MY PRECIOUS!!

Sulking

Sulk: to be silent and resentful because of a wrong done to one, especially in order to gain sympathy; brood sullenly or to show anger or resentment by being silent.


Gaceri, words can't explain how I detest this habit. It's the worst of them all. First of all, by sulking you're assuming the others witnessing your sulking know exactly what you're thinking. Mostly people sulk because of wrongs that have been done to them. Instead of talking about it, pointing it out, or defending themselves, they sulk.
It's the dumbest way in the world to resolve a wrong. No one knows what you're thinking about, no one wants to deal with you when you sulk. In any case, sulking is a form of indirect bullying. By refusing to express yourself, you're making others uncomfortable and polluting the atmosphere with negative energy.
You also look silly because you assume the others want to talk to you and maybe unbeknown to you, your silence is just the break they needed. Maybe you're doing them a huge favor by shutting up. And now suddenly, the joke's on you.
Plus it's not lady like. Please don't be that chic? 👀


Instead of sulking, take the time to express why you are displeased. Why are you mad? What specifically are you ticked off about? It is a mark of maturity and respect when you can articulate what has gone wrong and go one step further. Make suggestions as to what corrections can be done to remedy the situation. I can assure you, silence is not golden when you've been wronged. People can't read your mind. When you sulk, you're being part of the problem and not the solution.
I personally don't like sulkers. They sigh, sniff, shrug and refuse to share. Their silence is a sort of transference of anger to you. So instead of them getting mad, it's you getting ticked off. You're left experiencing the negative emotions for them. The way I deal with sulkers is ignore them, completely, until they're ready to verbally express what's wrong. Sometimes, I will tell sulkers in no vague terms (their preferred language is vague) that I am put out by their shenanigans.

You know what, sweetie, no one likes a sulker. In addition, negative thoughts will affect your body and eventually your soul. If there's one thing I know, Sulking is one of those negative activities that contribute to a rotten soul.

Crazy Busy

“I am like a book, with pages that have 
stuck together for want of use:
 my mind needs unpacking and the truths
stored within must be turned over
from time to time, to be ready
when occasion demands” ~Seneca

Hi my darling, at times in life you're going to feel as if your mind is full of to-dos, a never ending list at that. At times you can feel as if life is pulling you in a million different directions. That's when you start to drown in the details and the minuteness of life. Time becomes an enemy instead of a friend. Life begins to become unfriendly. This is when you must step back and take a deep breath. Stepping back does not mean and will never mean that you're being lazy. You have to always take time to regroup.

By continuing in a frenzied, frantic state, there's a real danger in your life getting away from you. Instead of your life being like a serene open book, it looks like a book that's being read at a high speed where most of the pages are stuck together or blurred and undiscernable. I highly doubt if that's what any one wants their life experience to be like. I know that's not what I'd like for you, my dear.

Compartmentalization is
 a 'divide and conquer' process
 for separating thoughts to
prevent inner conflict.
~changingminds.org

Rather than ignore what is overwhelming you, it's time to begin categorizing and filing away. Compartmentalize, every last detail of your life, every urgent matter, every idea that can wait, etc. Then, when everything is put away in your mind in neat little boxes, it's time to open one compartment at a time. Do only what you can. The idea with compartmentalizing is this: you've already tried multitasking and it's not working out. Act as if your life was a book. Open only the chapter you're willing to give your all. And even in that chapter, open the pages one at a time. If you fail to do this, you will end up doing a lot of things awfully and wonder why you can't get anywhere or worse, can't see in which direction your life is going.

The same advice stands for family, friends and others in your life. Deal with one person at a time. It's okay, in my opinion to shelve a few people who have gotten to be a handful. Put people who are retarding your progress in time out. It's not as if you're discarding them, it's just that they need to take a chill pill somewhere in your mind until you're ready to put up with their shenanigans. It's self preservation and there's nothing wrong with that.

Sweetie, it's happened to me before where I've opened every door in my head, where I've let everybody in my life take center stage all at the same time, where I've tried to run 500 different projects all at the same time. Guess what, love? It didn't work out. I failed miserably. Multitasking has its merits but you have to be wise enough to know when it will fail you wrethcedly. Multitasking cannot be applied to everything. That's a lie the too progressive world likes to tell us. In any case where's this we're rushing to? Death? It's coming anyway, so live, don't die trying.

In one of the many letters he wrote to his son in the 1740s, Lord Chesterfield offered the following advice: “There is time enough for everything in the course of the day, if you do but one thing at once, but there is not time enough in the year, if you will do two things at a time.” To Chesterfield, singular focus was not merely a practical way to structure one’s time; it was a mark of intelligence. “This steady and undissipated attention to one object, is a sure mark of a superior genius; as hurry, bustle, and agitation, are the never-failing symptoms of a weak and frivolous mind.” ~Christine Rosen

CrazyBusy is not just a by-product of high-speed, globalized modern life–it has become its defining feature. BlackBerries, cell phones, and e-mail 24/7. Longer work days, escalating demands, and higher expectations at home. It all adds up to a state of constant frenzy that is sapping us of creativity, humanity, mental well-being, and the ability to focus on what truly matters.~ Attention Deficit Disorder expert and bestselling author Edward M. Hallowell, M.D.

Do not get lost in busyness my dear. Here's an idea: Sit back, lounge, relax,  do nothing but compartmentalize.

Be Brave



He who is brave is free ~Seneca

Hi Sweetness, Be brave! This is an order, not a request. You have to be bold at all times. Especially when you feel scared and challenged. When you are faced with a tough situation, be brave, even if you don't feel that way. Fake it 'til you make it. I know I keep repeating this one line. Well, it's because this attitude will serve you fantastically throughout your numerous life challenges.

If I hadn't been brave I would never have come to the States. I was young, had never left home, scared, unsure, totally clueless, confused, coming out of personal trauma but I did not let my shaky knees dictate my life path. What's the worst that can happen? I thought. If all else failed, I could always come back home. You need to know that too, you can always go back home to reset, shake the dust off and start again. George S. Patton once said: Accept challenges, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory.

Walt Disney

In the back of my mind I constantly told myself, failure was not an option. So, armed with a little suitcase, zero life experience and a wildly beating heart, I got on Sabena Airlines. With a great leap of faith, I took a thousands of miles journey into my new life. Exhilirating! Victorious! An adventure I had been dreaming of since I was your age.

I remember leafing through the world atlas, Dad's encyclopedias and librabry books checking out what the world looked like outside of the tiny country of Kenya. I knew almost for certain, that with a world this big, I could not lock myself down into one location. The world was mine, to do with whatever I pleased, to go wherever my heart desired. Just this past year, I vacationed alone for a month in Europe. People tell me am brave. I say, I love life. It's one and the same thing.

Mark Twain
Courage is resistance to fear,
mastery of fear, not absence of fear

Gaceri, I need you to be brave. Meet challenges head on. If you have something that your heart desires and there are "obstacles" blocking you from gettting it, DO NOT back down. Do not shelve your dreams because they're "so hard" to achieve. There's no such thing as an unattainable dream... There's only laziness and non dedication. Plus, if you truly loved yourself, you would gift yourself your dreams. Always remember: Anything that you don't attempt will remain impossible, unachievable. They're your dreams, make them come true, FOR YOU!
I will share a trick with you. As you grow up, compile a list of people you admire and why. Choose people who have overcome adversity and made it no matter their dire odds. Personally, I like women heroines, because they're relatable. This list will serve you well when life has licked you and you cannot summon the energy or the mettle to go on. Start with your great grandmother, grandmother and your Mom.

Here's a little essay for you:
“I have realized; it is during the times I am far outside my element that I experience myself the most. That I see and feel who I really am, the most! I think that's what a comet is like, you see, a comet is born in the outer realms of the universe! But it's only when it ventures too close to our sun or to other stars that it releases the blazing "tail" behind it and shoots brazen through the heavens! And meteors become sucked into our atmosphere before they burst like firecrackers and realize that they're shooting stars! That's why I enjoy taking myself out of my own element, my own comfort zone, and hurling myself out into the unknown.

Illuminate your life

Because it's during those scary moments, those unsure steps taken, that I am able to see that I'm like a comet hitting a new atmosphere: suddenly I illuminate magnificently and fire dusts begin to fall off of me! I discover a smile I didn't know I had, I uncover a feeling that I didn't know existed in me... I see myself. I'm a shooting star. A meteor shower. But I'm not going to die out. I guess I'm more like a comet then. I'm just going to keep on coming back.”
― C. JoyBell C.

Self Talk

Dearheart, I love you!


Today I wish to talk about: Self talk. How are you talking to yourself? What do you say to you about you?
You have more power over your life than anybody else has. ~Joyce Meyer

Compliment yourself more often. Especially when you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. Do not listen to, or read articles in magazines that define what you "should" look like. No one should look like anyone else. How is that even possible? We are created as individuals with our own special peculiarities for a reason. We are not designed differently so that we can criticize ourselves and each other. Perhaps the only reason is so that we, as humans, can learn to appreciate the beauty, the wonderment  and genius of creation.


Do not judge yourself. There is a huge difference between judgment and discernment. At first it looks like the same thing, but it's not. Judgment concentrates on the past. It's a woulda-shoulda-coulda concept. It helps no one, especially yourself. Discernment has to do with self care. It's going over the blunder you've made and making a commitment that in the future you will do better, because now you know. Judgment is heavy, regretful, rife with self-loathing. Discernment is light, all encompassing, warm, hopeful.

Don't give in to self-loathing. I don't think we realize how hateful we can get to ourselves. We are our own worst critic. Some of the things we say to ourself, even our worst enemy wouldn't go there. Self-loathing doesn't give you room to heal, to improve. Self-laothing stifles love for self. Love for self is muy importante. It is the juice of life.




Freedom-Frank-Morrison.jpg

You are created of God. Therefore, any evil thing you say of yourself is an insult to the Creator. You are made of the image of God. God is complete and beautiful and so are you Gace, so are you!Encourage your effort. Be your own cheering force. Truly believe that at any one time you are doing the best that you can with what you have been afforded. Do away with negative self-talk about laziness. Just because things don't work out doesn't mean that your efffort is faulty, it just means life does not resolve on your timetable. So, give time, time.